Small Town Insanity: Excuse my lazy writing, I'm exhausted

So our fabulous weekend we had planned turned into a real life nightmare....
Thursday night I had barely any sleep as I am still a child at heart. When I am excited about something my stomache turns to mush and I make myself physically ill. So all night was just like Christmas Eve for me, tossing and turning, nauseated, waking up every 20 minuntes to check the clock. Five o'clock came around and I just laid in bed with a stupid smile across my face and watched J. He finally got up at 6:15 and jumped in the shower!!! Woo HOOOOO!!! We can start our weekend!!!! We left the house at 7:30 to meet up with our friends and off we went 2 couples and their 2 dogthers for our weekend ski adventure.

Anne and I strapped on our ski's to ski up the 4kms to the cabins with our dogs at our sides. The guys still had a full day of work ahead of them as they were to bring all of our food, clothes and beer up by snowmobile and groom the ski trails.

Early morning view

The boys fixing up Michee's sled

The day was shaping up to be a good one. The sun was shining and the conditions were amazing!!!! It was all fresh and perfectly soft powder. Lily was having the time of here life running up and down the trail and as was I, I finally got the hang of tele skiing. We were half a km away from the cabin when we see an abandoned snowmobile. I thought it had died as there were foot trails behind it. So Anne hopped on and started it, it started perfectly.... we were both suspicious at this point. Maybe one of the guys had got stuck or something? We continue to ski on and that's when we saw Michee frantically running towards us. He has a terrible look on his face and was in distress. He says "It's J, he's been in accident, we need to call an ambulance. He's at the cabin with Annie." I didn't know waht to think, all I knew is I needed to ski as fast as I possibly could to go and see my love. As we are nearing the cabins we see about quart of blood splashed on the side of the trail. I immediately had the worst thoughts racing through my head and wow did adrenaline ever pump through my veins. We reach the cabins and Annie opens the door (who is actually retired Dr) and there is my fiance hunched over a bucket that's filled with blood. He is shaking and absolutely covered in blood. Annie says "He's been fully coherent the whole time, he doesn't know what happened however, he just woke up upside down and Michee found him on the snowmobile" We call an ambulance, but remember we are 4 kms up the mountain so Michee and Chris come up the mountain with a sleigh attatched to the back of a snowmobile. We all head down the hill an the paramedics are there. We are taken to Baddeck and they said he has a severe concussion, they had put 7 stitches in the back of his head and the xray results came out fine. At this point not one tear had shed out of my eyes, I was still very much in shock. It's absolutely awful to feel so helpless, knowing your fiance is in such pain and there is nothing you can do to fix it. The doctor thought J should go to Sydney to get a cat scan just to be safe since he had suffered from a head trauma. So off we go in another ambulance. There was a lot of people waiting for a ct scan in the hallways but J got in right away. As we are waiting for results J was in a lot of pain but still in good spirits. That was until the nurse came in and said "The dr would like to speak with you both." Instant panic set in, why does the Dr need to speak with us? His x-rays came back fine, his ct scan will be fine too. He only has a concussion. There is no internal bleeding because he is talking fine and he can move every limb. We are put in a room in the er and I was trying to stay so strong for him. I just held his hand and said not to worry everything will be ok. Deep down inside I was absolutely hysterical, I wanted to scream and cry. The Dr came in and J says " oh hey man, how are you" the Dr. did an awkward laugh with a sorry face and says "I'm fine,thanks, but how are you?" J jokes around a bit and then the Dr tells us the news. "You have a serious traumatic brain injury, 3 skull fractures, internal bleeding, and some swelling, I think we are going to send you to Halifax so the neuro surgeon can check you out there." At this point J is pretty upset, he has tears streaming down his face and is swallowing hard. I held his hand tight and told him again everything will be ok and how much I loved him. I didn't know if everything was going to be ok, so I just sat in silence. Trying my darndest not to cry and stay strong for him. I politely excused myself saying I had to make a call and burst into hysterics. What an awful feeling!!!! I again was thinking the worst thoughts, I can't live this life without him, we are supposed to grow old together, I want to have children with him, I want to disappear, I love him so much, our wedding, life is so unfair. UGGGGHHHH Makes me cry just thinking about what terrible thoughts that were crashing in my head. So off we went for the longest ride to Halifax in life. When we got there J was brought into the ER and they wouldn't allow me in the room. It was the longest hour of my life just sitting there waiting to hear if they were going to operate. The nurse finally came out and gave me absolutely no information of what was going to happen, which was totally frustrating. I got to go in and kiss him goodnight and his Uncle drove me back to his place. How was I going to sleep not knowing what was happening with my fiance. What a long day/night that was. Also keep in mind I wasn't able to change out of my ski boots, which was the last of my worries but I actually had to peel my socks off at the end of the night as they were soaked with blood from wearing those damn things for 20 hours.

The next day we go in and they tell us they are not going to operate. He only has one skull fracture but it was so large the other Doctor thought it was 3, the internal bleeding stopped right after the accident and the swelling has gone down. Pheeewwwwffffff!!!!!!! HE IS GOING TO BE OK!!!!! To make an even longer story short he spent the next 4 days in the hospital, a couple of them were rough as he regressed one day, but healed the next. We are now staying in Halifax at his Uncles until J is feeling well enough to go back home. He is off work for at least four weeks and is to be basically on bed rest. Thank god he is going to be ok. This all just really shows how precious life really is, and it's so pointless to sweat the small stuff. If he wants the last red starburst have it!! I'll just have the last red one out of the next package :p. All of the paramedics, nurses, doctors, friends and family have all been AMAZING through out this whole experience. We are so lucky to have such a solid support network. I wouldn't trade it for the world!!!!