Sawyers Birth Story Part 2

When the pitocin kicked in the bleeding started to slow down. I think what made me the most scared at that moment was the look of concern on the midwives faces. They looked pretty panicky which made me a wee bit nervous. Once relief started to sweep their faces I was able to relax, kind of. My poor vag was in need of some attention. So Jon took Sawyer and I got my good old vag sewed up. Sawyer was kind to me surprisingly, I don't know how granted he was so large. I think maybe it's because I let my body do most of the work where as with Willow I was marathon pushing. I took a very long time to recover from my first birth, with Sawyer I felt fine a couple of days later.

I was finally able to just relax and cuddle in bed with my brand new babe. Sawyer didn't want to nurse right away so I was okay with just cuddling and adoring. I told Jon to call my parents and tell them to come over so they all could meet the newest family member. I was so excited to see sweet Willows face when she met her bro for the very first time.

Fifteen minutes later Willow and my parents came barrelling in. Willows face was actually the cutest and it is something I will never forget. She had the biggest smile and was just in awe, such a proud loving sister from the get go. My family all piled on the bed and just gazed lovingly at our little Sawyer.

Cat asked if I wanted to try and shower. I was definitely in need, but I just didn't want to move. I finally built up the courage and dragged my exhausted body into the shower. It was in there that I almost fainted. I lasted about one minute in the shower and I felt like I was going to tumble down like a brick wall. Cat immediately rushed me out and my biggest concern at that moment was bleeding all over the bathroom floor. I clearly had just done that as I gave birth in there! In my exhausted state, I insisted on walking into the kitchen to take an iron pill. I figured that would be the cure all to all of the blood loss. Poor Cat had to deal with stubborn old me, at the beginning she tried to tell me that an iron pill was the least of our worries and I just needed to be in bed. She learnt fast to just give up because I am to strong willed. I was on a mission to get that pill and I forgot about the bleeding everywhere part. When I got back into bed I had no colour to my skin. Jon said I basically looked like death. Thankfully I had a sub waiting for me that I didn't get a chance to eat before. I chowed down so hard, a subway sandwich had never tasted so right.

My fave picture of Jon adoring Sawyer and Willow and I chowing down 

After a few more checks, some cleaning and paperwork the midwives left. Than mom, dad and Willow left. And there was Jon, the new babe and I...all by ourselves. So the one thing you forget about when you have a home birth is just all of the work the nurses do in postpartum. They check on you throughout the night, they check the babes vitals, they help you to the bathroom, they clean, and they are there for your general well being. The midwives are on call and they tell you to call them if you have any concern at all and they will rush right over. We didn't have any immediate concern, I was just ready to get a little shut eye. While I did that Jon went around the cabin to make sure there wasn't any blood left on the floor. The place looked like a murder scene before the midwives cleaned, it was horrifying. After a couple of hours I had to go to the bathroom. Jon helped me slide over to the edge of the bed to stand, and when I stood blood gushed EVERYWHERE again. Yes I was wearing one of those pads that resemble a diaper and yes I was holding an incontinence pad underneath me. I waddled as fast as I could to the bathroom and I bled so much that Jon was ready to call an ambulance. The poor guy was terrified which again made me terrified. I remember bleeding a heck of a lot with Willow but this was way too much. I told Jon to just get me back to bed and see how it was then. It slowed down a bit, I think it just was all pooled in there from my hemorrhaging earlier and it just all gushed out when I stood. So poor Jon was up allll night long cleaning my blood. I think that's the only thing we didn't like about the home birth is not having a nurse around to help you in the middle of the night.

Nine a.m (Christmas morning) rolled around pretty fast and Cat came over to check on us. She checked both Sawyer and I and all was good. My parents and Willow came a couple hours after that. Jon was cuddling Sawyer in the living room and I was in bed when they arrived. Mom and Willow went to go and give Sawyer some cuddles and kisses and my Dad came right to me. That's something I will never forget. He wanted to come and check on his baby girl and although I didn't say anything my heart was bursting with love and gratitude for my old pops. What a gem! He then told me I stunk, haha typical dad move. I spent the afternoon in bed with Sawyer, bonding and nursing. Mom, Dad and Willow went up to ski hill for Christmas dinner. So Jon and I had a gourmet feast of spaghetti in bed and Sawyer feasted on milk, perfection.

Thank You Sawyer for being the greatest Christmas gift, ever!! We love you so very much xoxoxo

Birth Story (part 1)

I had been having crazy Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks and I had gone into false labour the weekend before, so my body was more than ready to give birth. My uterus was primed right up to have this baby from all of the practice it had gotten and I was also downing raspberry leaf tea like a feen. On December 23rd I knew I was going to have this babe soon. My mom wanted us to the stay the night so we could celebrate Christmas the next morning as they were planning on going skiing on Christmas day. But I just wanted to stick around the cabin that night... just in case. I ended up getting about an hour sleep because my contractions kept on waking me and I was feeling pretty anxious. The contractions would be five minutes apart and then jump to being ten, so very irregular and very frustrating. On the 24th Mom, Dad & Willow came over to the cabin and we opened presents.

I was still contracting irregularly. Dad & Jon were on contraction timing duty and I would let them know the second I was feeling one and then they started predicting on when I was going to get one. They were making a game out of my pain ;p. We watched tv, we played cards and we just relaxed. At around 6pm my contractions had been every five minutes, lasting a minute long for the past hour and a bit and feeling pretty intense. Dad and Jon got my pool ready, mom was entertaining Willow and I was working through my contractions. I kicked my parents and Willow out of the cabin because unfortunately when I go into labor I go into my own little world and can't have any distractions. Jon called the midwife to let her know where I was at and she came 10 minutes later.

When she arrived she told me I was much too chipper and she wanted to come back when I wasn't so cheerful. She did a check and I was only 3cm dilated but my cervix was completely thinned out. She left to go and get changed ( the poor girl showed up in her party dress as it was Christmas Eve) and have a nap. She told us she would call the cabin at nine and see how I was doing at that point. She had said to call her before if I felt that one contraction that was different from the rest. I had asked her if I should go for a walk, bounce on my ball, and/or squat to make things progress. And she said do what you want but I would suggest watching a funny movie, relax and make out with Jon. I watched a little bit of Seinfeld but than that annoyed me, I turned on some tunes but they annoyed me and making out with Jon at that point was out of the question. Cat called to see how things were and I told her everything was fine and we would call her if anything had changed. I had just asked Jon to open the window so I could listen to the ocean and than boom I had THAT contraction. I felt him move his head and engage and my water broke a minute later. This was only five minutes after we had talked to Cat on the phone when everything was manageable. Jon called her and told her we needed her and the attending midwife, Emma asap. I hopped into the birthing pool to relieve some of the tension. The only thing is it wasn't filled up enough. I tried to enjoy the warmth as much as possible but I felt like I needed to push so badly. Jon & I were pretty worried the midwives wouldn't make it in time and I was trying my darndest to hold that baby in. For relief I was squeezing Jons arm really really tight and making the most obnoxious sounds. With Willow I internalized everything because I didn't want to be loud in the hospital, in my own space I let loose.

At one point Jon said "there are car lights, thank god. Not to worry they are here". Nope, not them. I replied very hastily "why Jon, No! That's not fucking them". I decided they were never going to arrive and Jon hoist me in he car and head to the hospital. Jon insisted they would be here soon even though the look of sheer terror and panic was all over his face.  They finally arrived ten minutes later which clearly felt like an hour. The first thing I said to Cat was " I am not chipper ANYMORE!!!!!!!!" They came rushing in and immediately started setting everything up.  They bring a lot of stuff with them, they basically have everything a hospital room would have all jammed in a bunch of duffel bags.

Cat didn't like the position I was in the pool. My vagina had to be completely immersed in the water or totally out for the baby to be able to breathe properly when born. She just told me to completely submerge myself when pushing or to lift my butt up. I decided I didn't want to have the worry and hopped out of the pool. Well not really hopped, more like breached (think whale) myself out. I thought at that moment it would be a good time to go to the bathroom. When you are fully dilated and ready to give birth, I highly advise against walking anywhere of you don't have to. It's pretty hard work. They tried telling me it was just my baby wanting to be born which was giving me the sensation to poop but me being stubborn me insisted on going to the toilet. When I got on the toilet I had the immediate sensation of relief and I started to push right away. Finally, so much of my pain diminished. To be honest pushing is my fave part, I feel like every sense is heightened and I am on some euphoric drug. Perhaps I am an adrenaline junkie and don't even know it :p. The midwives were telling me I didn't want to have this baby on the toilet and I could go anywhere else in the cabin but I really really didn't want to leave my throne. Cat insisted it wasn't safe for her to try and catch my baby in the toilet so I got up and crouched on Jon. And after gently pushing a couple of times, grunting and deep breaths out came Sawyer on the bathroom floor... at 10:20pm weighing a whopping 9lbs14ozs and 21inches long. Cat said when he came out he had his hand on his face, I was wondering why after the head came out he didn't come flying out of there. With willow I remember after the head the dr. popped her right out there. This little fella felt kind of stuck. It's because the crazy guy had his elbow sticking right out, hand on face. She tried to maneuver his arm as fast as possible and he grabbed her hand to help guide him out. Her first reaction was holy, he's huge, it's Frank the Tank! The little man gave her a cheezy little smile in his first second out of the birth canal. So while I had to push the placenta out we were making Old School references. After the placenta came out I hemorrhaged a bit. They got me onto the bed and gave me a shot of pitocin to make my uterus contract. I guess since Sawyer was so big my placenta was huge to feed such a big guy. So naturally the wound site of the placenta was quite large. 

I will continue part 2 tomorrow :) 

Birth Story Part 4

Poor little Willow had jaundice. Since we live so far away they thought it was best if we just stayed in the hospital so she could be monitored rather than us driving back and forth for blood work. We ended up staying a week and by the end J and I were delirious. We totally had cabin fever and couldn't wait to get home. One minute we were laughing about nothing the next minute we were so annoyed with another. I feel for all of you parents who have had to stay in the hospital for long stretches of time. We kept reminding ourselves how lucky we were, it was only jaundice and we were only there for a week. The good thing about our hospital stay was our nurses were absolutely phenomenal and whenever I had a question or needed help they were right there by my side. J also needs to be commended for this. We started the routine in the hospital, when Willow wakes J brings her over to me to nurse and than when I am done I wake him and he changes her bum and puts her back to bed. He has continued this routine since we have gotten home. Not too shabby eh? I told you I'm a lucky gal!!

Sleep deprived daddy & Willow

Sleep deprived mommy & Willow

Although Willow looked darn cool in her foam glasses, she hated them. She didn't get much sleep when she was in the bed. Luckily, she only had to be in the bed for a couple of night and days. It was so hard not to snuggle her constantly.

Yep, already a daddy's girl.

I don't understand why they don't have daddy showers at the hospital. Poor J sponge bathed for a week! willow doesn't seem to mind the stench. JK you did a very good job bathing yourself J :p

YAAAYYY we get to go HOOOMMME!!!

During our entire hospital stay our FAB-U-LOUS friends Kathy, Doug & Aidan took care of our fur babies for us. We are soooo blessed to have such great people as friends. Thank You guys xo Also for all of the delicious treats that were awaiting us. Thank you to Anne for the yummy food too. You are all the best!

Birth Story Part 3

Birth Story Part 3

I had been in labor for 13.5 hours and the time had come to push with all my might. During the first sets of contractions I felt like I was doing it all wrong and not pushing "right". This didn't last long because I could feel the babe slowly moving lower and lower. Also, I am totally one of those people that needs to be praised so when the doctor and nurse told me how well I was doing and that I was a natural, the little teachers pet in me glowed. I wanted to show them I was the best damn pusher on this planet :p.  I loved the feeling of my body telling my brain to push at each contraction and then pushing with all my might. In the crazy state I was in I will never forget how in awe I was of my own body. I felt on top of the world, which is kind of crazy because you are feeling pain, pooping, peeing, sweating, and are totally vulnerable. But I had a goal and that was to introduce the most precious little being in my and J's life to our little world.

I had a thing about raising my hands into the sky when the contractions were at there peak. At one point I lifted them up so high I ripped the iv out of my hand and blood started pouring out. No one noticed and I couldn't seem to get the words out. Finally J noticed after me flailing my hand in his face saying "Blood..it's out... I'm bleeding" and he and the nurse put it back in. He said he really liked feeling needed then, because it is true the poor dad just sits there and feels helpless. So he was happy to help when he could. He did in fact help in more ways than he realizes. Just him being there by my side the entire time meant the world to me. Although I did yell at him once. He was doing the "push countdown" like a drill sargeant. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 at what seemed to be at the top of his lungs. I politely said "Would you shutup? You are too loud" he continued with light countdowns which I appreciated. I remember him being so excited to see her hair when her head was making it's first appearance. The excitement in his voice is something I wish I could have on tape and press repeat. It was way too sweet.

The pushing part seemed to fly by. It took just under an hour, I think 52min. The crowning of the head didn't hurt as much as I thought it would and people say the shoulders hurt a lot too but the doctor helped pop them out of there. It really isn't as scary and painful as everyone makes it out to be. Would I do it again tomorrow? No! It's not that easy, but the reward at the end makes it allllll worth it. J told me he was panicked when her head was coming out because it looked like a long skinny eggplant and than it just kind of popped into a normal shape when it was fully out. He said the whole birthing process was a life changing experience for him.

 J's intuition was right, I was shocked when he finally announced it was a girl. When she came out he said "IT'S A BOY, IT'S A GIRL, IT'S A BOY". The doctor quickly corrected him and told him it was a girl haha. I thought the whole time I was definitely having a little boy. What a sweet surprise!

 I would like to introduce WILLOW RAE HOPKINS!!

6lbs14oz & 19inches of pure perfection

I am so over the top happy about how my labor and delivery went. Right after Willow entered the world she was put on my chest and it was instant utopia. I was able to cuddle and love her with every ounce of energy I had left. She started breastfeeding right away and then the nurse and J took her to weigh her and check her and brought her right back to my chest. The only downfall of the entire experience is I did tear and require 4 stitches. I tore at a different spot which my dr didn't want to stitch as it would be waaay to sensitive. That was not fun. After I gave birth my eyes immediately turned to slits, they had never felt so heavy in my entire life. I also popped blood vessels from  pushing with my face, whoops! But, wow, what an experience. She is totally a J Jr. Every face that Willow makes I see J in her. She is too precious for words, we are soooo in love.

Pretty alert for a babe that's only a few hours old!

Birth Story Part 2

Birth Story Part 2

J was able to get some much needed R&R (bastard :p) and I watched him sleep from 4:00am until 7:00am. The doctor had said the day before she was going to induce me at 8:30am if my contractions hadn't started. Well they were strong all night and of course when she came in they slowed down and were light again. When she checked me that morning I was only 3cm dilated, UGH! She said she didn't want to induce me just yet and see if my contractions would pick up again. I was quite happy about that. I jumped out of bed and started walking the halls to try and walk that babe out of me. J and I did many laps around the hospital and my contractions were back to being fierce again. I was pumped! My nurse, Judy (who was absolutely amazing) suggested I have a warm shower to take the edge off. I hopped in and that really made my contractions closer and much stronger. The shower felt so good and I was so happy to feel such strong contractions, I highly recommend a nice warm shower during labour. After the shower I had to be monitored again to check my vitals, babies heartbeat and my contractions. The contractions were very close together and everything was looking great. The doctor came back and checked me again and I was dilated 6-7cm.

In my "zone" haha

 As soon as I could I jumped out of bed and hopped on the birthing ball. The nurse showed J how to give me a fabulous massage and he massaged me for over an hour while I was on the ball. The nurse told me that when I was experiencing a contraction to try and relax my shoulders and breathe in each breath for my baby. She said breath is your drug, let your breath touch your toes. I totally thought of yoga and kind of went into a meditative state. The power of breath is so strong. J was also the PERFECT partner. He knows that when I'm in my "zone" I don't like to be talked to, touched (except for massage), but I do need someone to squeeze & have lip chap ready for me when needed :p. He had his hand, arm, head and shoulders ready for me to squeeze at all times. He had said later he always thought I was a weakling but I have a dang good grip. I couldn't have asked for a better support person, and I think that's what made my labor such a positive experience.

After being on the ball for close to two hours I got back in bed to try and rest my body. My contractions had slowed again!!! They were still strong but were about 4-5min apart. The nurse suggested giving me pitocin which I really didn't want, but at this point I said what the hell?!

Getting the pitocin

 As soon as she put me on the "drip" my contractions were fierce. I was totally riding the wave, I would get this strong pain in my legs and then I knew a contraction would be there to follow. It would peak and pain would be at its worst but I just kept thinking surf this wave down with pride haha. So wacky, but it totally helped. The pain was getting harder and harder to just use the "ride the wave" method. Judy said she can always tell how strong a contraction is by how far back the toes curl into the foot. Well my toes were flexed almost all the way back to my foot. I got checked after an hour and was at a 8. I was slowly progressing. The nurse offered me to take some kind of pain relief, she said that I may progress more quickly if I had more rest. I had opted out of having an epidural because I like to be in control of my body. The thought of not being able to move my lower half makes me craazzzyyy. This definitely was never an option for me. She had told me about Nitrous Oxide (laughing gas) earlier that morning. I had decided that a couple of inhales of that would do me good and I had the option of inhaling it whenever I felt necessary. Well you all know how that goes, I would inhale about every third contraction and then it felt too good so I started inhaling it with every contraction... damn drugs!! At one point I asked the nurse where I could buy it. It basically feels like you have had a couple of bottles of wine. I would inhale as soon as I would start feeling the tingle in my legs and would keep breathing into it until the contraction would subside. Than I would be able to fully rest in between contractions. Ooooh I could go for some laughing gas right now :p.

The nurse said I would know the moment I felt I needed to push and they didn't have to check me again. I was nervous I would not know or miss the feeling but ohhh boy you know!!! J helped me to go pee and I knew the time was near. I was digging my fingers so far into poor J's shoulder. When I got back to the bed the nurse was feeling my belly and was pretty sure the babe was sunny side up. So she asked me to get on all fours for just a minute. As soon as J helped me assume the position I screamed "I'M GONNA PUUUUUUUSSSSSSHHHHHHH" and pushed with all my might. The nurse quickly got me flipped over, called the doctor and it was time!!!

I have the Crrrazy look in my eye. (I don't know why I took my hair down, it drove me mad when I was pushing)

Birth Story Part 1

Sorry blog friends for my lack of blog posts lately. I have been super busy loving, kissing, feeding, staring, cuddling, changing, adoring my precious baby GIRL!

I didn't have a chance to write my 39 week post as I was giving birth that day but here is a picture of my hot bod in a bikini two days before. Ohhh yeaaaah, I was workin' it :p

 Birth Story Part 1

The entire week before I gave birth I was experiencing menstrual type cramps, was not feeling "right", and had little to no energy. Pretty typical for this phase of pregnancy. The end was so close I could taste it! I loved absolutely every part of pregnancy but when you get so close to the end you get pretty tired of the whole being pregnant bit and just want your  little babe in your arms. Anywho, at my check up my water actually broke in the doctor's office. As soon as I felt the pop and warm gush of fluid I made J run to the car to grab pants and full back undies. I was definitely wearing white capris and a thong. Ladies, when you are that far along don't wear white and thongs. I never realized how much fluid GUSHES out of you (and for a long time). It's so uncomfortable, every gush feels like a super heavy period or pee. Poor J was so frantic, when the doctor told us to head to the hospital he was in absolute panic mode and I'm pretty sure he thought I was going to give birth within the hour (which would have been nice). After being congratulated by people in the waiting room we headed to the car where J was running full speed too... he forgot the keys. I laugh thinking of what a mess the poor guys was.

When we got to the hospital the nurses checked my vitals. My temperature was pretty high but it's because it was so stinking hot that day and I had just walked up a hill to get to the hospital. So I enjoyed some cherry popsicles and ice water until my temp dropped.

 The nurse said I was getting pretty frequent contractions but I couldn't feel them. They wanted to keep us there for the night as we live two hours away from the hospital. So I headed to the recovery ward to get some rest and relax for the night.

 I didn't relax at all. My contractions were not frequent but when I would get them, they were pretty strong. At 12:30AM, July.12th they really started to pick up. They were about 3-4 minutes apart and very strong. They sent J and I over to labor & delivery. I definitely didn't want to just lay in bed, I wanted to roam free through the hospital. So as soon as we got down there J and I dropped off our stuff in the room and headed straight for the stairs so I could go up and down them. J was shocked at how "normal" I was acting. I had been texting my friend Bre and she had told me to walk lots and concentrate on my breathe so that's exactly what I did and that was my life saver. I was walking up and down the stairs and would break only for a small dance session or to breathe through my contraction. Every contraction I had I thought to myself, this is a good thing, you are one step close to meeting your babe. I was really in awe at how my body and baby were doing so much work to prepare, it was an amazing experience. After going up and down many flights of stairs we went back to the room to try and get some sleep as I hadn't slept a wink yet. However, my contractions did not want me to sleep!