I am writing this blog now for myself, my mental health. I have found that running just isn’t cutting it for me anymore. Whenever I am not with my mom and don’t have any distractions I cry my face off. I never like to cry in front of people. It’s one of my weaknesses. I like to be as positive and strong (whatever that means) for my family. So when I get a minute to myself I go on backroads and cry, sometimes I scream and then quickly do the nervous look and pray no one has heard me lol. I needed another outlet. I mean alcohol would be pretty great at numbing things lol but I think that this is a much healthier option. I have always been way better at expressing myself though the written word. I have never been the most eloquent speaker and often stumble on words but when I write I can go on for hours. My grammar needs work though. See, I’m going on and on, shit! lol.
My life is now cancer. Literally filled with cancer. I think about cancer from the moment I wake up and think about it before I go to bed. This blog will basically be about cancer and my journey (I hate that word bc of the show the bachelor/bachelorette) trying to navigate through it. Glioblastoma Multiforme is slowly taking over my moms brain and it has changed my entire families life. I once told her that everything she is feeling/going through I am feeling 90 percent of it. If she is in pain I am in pain, if she is sad I am sad, when she is angry I am angry. But I still have two impressionable kids to raise so I can’t show my feelings all of the time. And of course I was not given a terminal diagnosis and I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like having a death sentence. But I do know that as my mom dies a part of me dies. She is my (handclap) every (handclap) THING! Anyone who knows us know that we share a special bond.
I am going to take a break and watch a show. Because I need me time and a little break from cancer. But I’ll probably write my next post when I am wide awake in bed in an hour. Ugh I hate sounding so melodramatic. So not me, but this is where I’m at lol
Ps thanks blog I feel so much better about my ramblings. Feels good to get them out of my head and not bore anybody with my Debbie downer attitude as of late. Fuck, I’m talking to a blog hahahahaha
I am going to take a break and watch a show. Because I need me time and a little break from cancer. But I’ll probably write my next post when I am wide awake in bed in an hour. Ugh I hate sounding so melodramatic. So not me, but this is where I’m at lol
Ps thanks blog I feel so much better about my ramblings. Feels good to get them out of my head and not bore anybody with my Debbie downer attitude as of late. Fuck, I’m talking to a blog hahahahaha
I am so sorry to read this. Cancer is awful; so, so terrible. I know how you're feeling as I lost my mom (my everything) to cancer in 2015. It is still so very hard and someday I also scream when no one is around. Sometimes it best is to let that pain out instead of keeping it all in. I'm sending prayers you and your mom's way.
ReplyDeleteThank you Faith!! I’m so sorry you lost your mom to this awful disease xoxoxo sending you so much love
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LOVE SPELLS THAT WORKS I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution.
My husband left me and our 2 kids for another woman for 3 years. I tried to be strong just for my kids but I could not control the pains that torment my heart. I was hurt and confused. I needed a help, so i did a research on the internet and came across a site where I saw that Dr. Ojoka a spell caster, can help get lovers back. I contacted him and he did a special prayer and spells for me. To my surprises, after some days, my husband came back home. That was how we reunited again and there was a lot of love, joy and peace in the family.
You can as well contact Dr. Ojoka , a powerful spell-caster for solutions on his contact dr.ojokaspelltemple@gmail .com or directly on Whats App: +2348144172934
LOVE SPELLS THAT WORKS I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution.
My husband left me and our 2 kids for another woman for 3 years. I tried to be strong just for my kids but I could not control the pains that torment my heart. I was hurt and confused. I needed a help, so i did a research on the internet and came across a site where I saw that Dr. Ojoka a spell caster, can help get lovers back. I contacted him and he did a special prayer and spells for me. To my surprises, after some days, my husband came back home. That was how we reunited again and there was a lot of love, joy and peace in the family.
You can as well contact Dr. Ojoka , a powerful spell-caster for solutions on his contact dr.ojokaspelltemple@gmail .com or directly on Whats App: +2348144172934
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ReplyDeleteMy Name is Mark Kelvin, From USA. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSCAR DILAN has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex WIFE to me with his great spell, I was married to this woman called Sharon we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to make her pregnant for me and also give her al she needs she left me and told me she can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get her back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com .... YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS TO CONTACT HIM as you won't believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost WIFE back, and after a month she became pregnant for me because he gave me some herbs to take also and when she went for a test and the result stated that she was pregnant am happy today am a FATHER of a baby girl, thank you once again the great DR OSCAR DILAN for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child/PREGNANCY SPELL.
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(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
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LOVE SPELLS THAT WORKS I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution.
ReplyDeleteMy husband left me and our 2 kids for another woman for 3 years. I tried to be strong just for my kids but I could not control the pains that torment my heart. I was hurt and confused. I needed a help, so i did a research on the internet and came across a site where I saw that Dr. Ojoka a spell caster, can help get lovers back. I contacted him and he did a special prayer and spells for me. To my surprises, after some days, my husband came back home. That was how we reunited again and there was a lot of love, joy and peace in the family.
You can as well contact Dr. Ojoka , a powerful spell-caster for solutions on his contact dr.ojokaspelltemple@gmail .com or directly on Whats App: +2348144172934
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